


The Joker and the Thief

by Threadbare_Storyteller



Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:11:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11738685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Threadbare_Storyteller/pseuds/Threadbare_Storyteller
Summary: The infamous Clown Queen of Gotham had been thrown back into the looney bin after a particularly bad sparring match with the Bats. Days turned into months and her darling Mistah J never once bothered to try to break her out, let alone get any messages to her. Harley was heartbroken, but she was determined to get over it. She started taking her rehabilitation seriously and was better than she had been in a long while. A certain caped-crusader took notice of her turn-around and in a desperate last-attempt to thwart the Joker's current plans, him and the Devil make a deal with the Clown Queen.





	1. Chapter 1

 Harley heard the loud buzzer signaling that her cell door was getting ready to open. She perked up at the sound. It was easy to lose time in prison, but she knew it wasn’t time for one of her twice-daily therapy sessions.  When the heavy metal door opened, she was shocked to see the Devil standing on the other side of the door between two heavily armed guards.

“Miss Quinnzel.” The devil’s tone was clipped and professional as usual. It had been a long time since Harley had laid eyes on the woman. The last time Harley actually saw her was probably when she was ordering Deadshot to put a bullet through Harley’s brain.

Harley had to admit she was more than a little anxious at the sight of her. If Amanda Waller was here, that meant Harley had another suicide mission. That or they wanted to torture her for information. Harley hoped it was the latter. The previous Queen of Gotham was tired of taking orders. She just wanted to be left in peace.

“Hey lady,” Harley chirped. She knew not to make any sudden movements, lest she wanted a bullet lodged somewhere in her body. These assholes here were much better trained that the asshats at Belle Reeve. They knew their shit and wouldn’t hesitate to shoot where it would hurt like hell, but wouldn’t kill you.  Harley knew they could hurt her all they wanted, but she was too valuable an asset to waste. She had extremely valuable information on the Joker and the rest Gotham’s underground. So far, she’s managed to keep quiet. She knew it was a matter of time until they would open her up.

“Long time no see Missus W. It’s been a hot minute. Two years maybe?” She paused, sticking her tongue in her cheek. She was trying to read Waller’s face, but the devil woman was as impassive as ever. “What brings ya to my humble abode?”

Amanda Waller looked tired, but that wasn’t new. “We’re in need of your assistance again Ms. Quinnzel.”

Harley pouted. “Nah, I don’t feel like it. I’m tired of taking orders. Just leave me here ta rot.”

Waller frowned. “That’s not a request Ms. Quinnzel. You will help us. There are no alternatives.”

Harley scowled and balled her fists. The gesture must have scared the guards, because they brought the sites of their rifles to rest on Harley’s body. Harley was frustrated. She had been good. Hell, she had been more than good. She hadn’t done anything in the last year to deserve being tossed into another suicide mission. Her therapist said she was getting better, and she was! She was finally resigned to living the rest of her forsaken life rotting away in prison, and she got accustomed to the fact she’d probably never walk on real earth again. Now they were fucking up her plans. She let her hands relax at her sides and smiled.

“O-kay,” she sang, “what do ya got for the team now?”

Waller shook her head. “No team, just you.”

Harley didn’t understand. They were sending her to take down some big bad alone? In what world did that make sense?

“If its info ya want, you had better ask someone else. My mind is too messy for me to tell ya anything, even if I did want to rat out the Joker.”

Waller smirked. “You’re getting debriefed in ten.”

  
 She turned to leave and the door slammed shut behind her. Harley growled. She wanted to punch something, but she held off. Harley did some bad things, but she was better than ever. The voices were quiet, she recently came to the conclusion that the Joker couldn’t really love her and she was better off, and she had made peace with the fact that she was all alone in a dark and grimy prison.

Harley wanted to cry. She never ever thought about killing herself, but maybe she would get lucky and this mission would kill her. It seemed like a better alternative than rotting in a cell until the next time she could be useful.

The sound of the door brought her out of her thoughts. This time there were four guards. One approached her with her chains and shackles while the rest had their guns pointed at her. She didn’t understand all the fanfare. She hasn’t fought with any of the guards in months.

She stayed quiet as they escorted her to her therapy room. Instead of Harley’s normal doctor, Amanda Waller sat in a chair at a metal table. She was the definition of poise and professional. Harley scanned the room and her eyes landed on a certain caped crusader. Her eyes narrowed. Part of her still held a lot of resentment toward the Bat, but another part of her wished she could be more like him.

“Have a seat Ms. Quinnzel.”

Harley sat in the metal chair across from Waller with no objection. The guard reached to attach her shackles to the table, but Waller held up her hand.

“That won’t be necessary. You four are dismissed.”

The guard looked conflicted. He looked from Waller to Batman and decided it wasn’t worth his time to argue. He followed the other three guards out of the room and the door slammed shut behind them.

“Miss Quinnzel, we have a very delicate situation. You are the only person that has the… assets to help us.”

Harley kept quiet. Her gaze travelled from Waller to the vigilante that kept edging closer to the table.

“We need you to go undercover.” Waller finished.

Harley started cackling. “That’s a good one lady. Me, go under cover? Ya couldn’t get me into a good enough get-up to where someone wouldn’t recognize me.”

Waller let Harley finish before speaking. “We need you to go undercover as yourself. Word on the street is that the Joker is up to something big. We’re not sure what. Everyone we’ve tried talking to is tight-lipped. Dozens have died keeping the Joker’s secret.”

Harley’s stomach fluttered at the mention of her former lover. It took her a minute to piece together what Waller just communicated to her.

“Wait,” Harley started, “you mean ya want me to go back to Mistah J?”

She looked over to Batman. “And you’re okay with this Batsy?”

Waller cleared her throat. “It was his idea.”

Harley chuckled. “Well there’s some major flaws to ya plans.”

Waller raised a brow.

“Firstly, Mistah J don’t want nothing ta do with me. If he did, he’d have broken me out by now.” She paused, making sure her words were reaching their targeted audience.

“Secondly, Mistah J might be crazy, but he’s no dummy. If I show up on his doorstep fresh outta prison, he’s going to know something’s up. Besides, he don’t tell me nothin’ anyways. Thirdly, what makes ya think I even want to go back to that torturous asshole?”

Batman crossed his arms and shook his head.

“You don’t have a choice Harley. We need you to do this. Gotham needs you to do this.” His voice was gruff as usual. Harley could tell he was trying to appeal to her newfound heroism.

Harley shook her head. “I have some demands that I need made before I’ll even agree.”

Waller chuckled.  
  
“You’re in no position to be making demands. Like last time, we’ll take a few years off your prison sentence.”

Harley shook her head. “You need me. Otherwise the Bats wouldn’t have come up with this idea.”

She paused, thinking through her words carefully. “I know I’m an asset, otherwise I wouldn’t be gettin’ therapy. You’d keep me in a cage like you did in Louisiana. I know yas are tryin’ to get me rehabbed, and I know ya know it’s workin’. I’m being built up.”

Waller looked surprised. Did she really not expect Harley to piece together the puzzle? She might be insane, but she’s still smart as a whip.

“I promise, I’ll do whatever ya want but I want to be in a proper rehab center. I’ll pay for it an’ everything! I need help and I want good help. I want to be good.” She looked up to Batman, “I can be like you Batsy, I know I can.”

Waller looked thoughtful like she was actually considering Harley’s demand. Before she could speak, Batman spoke up.

“We’ll agree to your demands Harley, but no funny business. The second you fuck up, it’s back in the hole. For life.”

His tone sounded harsh, but Harley squealed and smiled. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Waller flinch. Batsy wasn’t the type to go back on his word. Waller might have been a manipulative bitch, but Batman always held to his code of honor.

“I promise ya won’t regret this Batsy!”

For the first time in a long time, Harley felt hope. She wanted to stomp the little light out before it grew, but she allowed herself to feel it for a while. She deserved it. She knew getting her hopes up only meant it would hurt more when they were smashed. She didn’t care; this feeling was worth the risk. She would finally be getting help. After years of her brain being mush, she was starting to feel normal. She loved being Harley Quinn, but she missed Harleen Quinnzel too. She was hopeful that a good therapist would be able to find a good middle ground for her.

“Ms. Quinnzel, we’re going to need you to start tonight. We’re staging a break-out. We’re going to let you and some of the lower level crazies and criminals ‘escape’.”

Harley was brought out of her thoughts of rehabilitation by Waller’s clipped words. “Okay, but how am I supposed to find Mistah J? It could take me weeks ta find him.”

“We’ve already arranged for all the major news stations to cover tonight’s break out. We’re hoping The Joker will come for you himself.”

Harley wasn’t so sure that was the best plan. Didn’t she already tell them that he didn’t want her anymore?

“And what if he doesn’t?” Harley asked her voice small.

“Then we’ll figure it out.” Batman said gruffly.

They spoke for another hour about logistics, equipment, and Harley was filled in with all the info she was allowed to know. Harley was implanted with another microchip. This one didn’t explode, instead it tracked her every movement. Batman told her he would meet up with her once she was established to give her the rest of the equipment she might need. Apparently they didn’t trust her to report the truth. In a few weeks’ time, they were planning on outfitting her with tiny cameras and voice recorders. Harley couldn’t say she blamed them.

Harley was escorted back to her cell after Waller was done with her. They went over the plan a million times. If they didn’t think she was capable of remembering a simple plan, why would they even choose her? They must really be desperate. When Harley was back in her cell, she felt a pang of regret. Was she really willing to betray her Puddin’?

‘He’s not your Puddin’ anymore Harley, he doesn’t care about you. Otherwise, he’d be here.’

“Shut up.” Harley growled. She knew the voice was right, but it didn’t make it easier.

Harley sat on the thin mattress that has served as her bed for the last year. After a few minutes, she laid down, but sleep didn’t come for her. Time trickled by slowly. Part of her still couldn’t believe that they would just let her out, but the other part was silently counting her blessings and praying this wasn’t a trick. She had gotten better through treatment with the shitty, state-paid doctor. She would be leaps and bounds better if they let her have access to a real doctor.

Hours passed and she started hearing screams. She wondered if the employees were aware that the devil and Batman staged an escape. She doubted it. People would probably die. They would have to in order to make it believable. She knew Waller wasn’t above sacrificing the few for the good of the many, but she was surprised the Bats didn’t have an issue with it.

Minutes after the screams started, she heard gunshots. She tried her door and it was still locked. How was she supposed to get out? She was getting antsy. Moments later, her door was pushed open. Outside was a short, bug-eyed man. Harley thought she recognized him. He was an inmate/patient here. He must be under Waller’s thumb as well.

Without saying a word, she pushed passed him. She had one goal, and that was to get out. She passed several bodies lying in the hall. She wasn’t sure if they were dead or injured. Honestly, she didn’t care. She rounded a corner and surprised a guard. He immediately drew his rifle and pointed it square at her chest.  Harley didn’t recognize him, but he looked scared. He must be a newbie. She put her hands in the air and feigned surrender. “Don’t shoot me mistah, I’m just trying to get somewhere safe. It’s a mad house in here!”

You would think if Waller wanted her out of here so bad, she would pay off the guards. Clearly that didn’t happen.

“Don’t give me a reason to shoot, okay miss?”

Harley smiled. He was a gentleman. “Of course mistah, cross my heart!”

The guard lowered his gun slightly and Harley pounced. She had the gun out of his hands in seconds. The guard screamed and Harley debated on killing him or not. She didn’t think Waller or the Bats would like that too much, but they didn’t explicitly tell her not to. Maybe this was a test. Instead she broke his arm and kicked his knee in. He wailed in pain, but Harley couldn’t say she felt bad. She could have done a lot worse.

She ran down the hall and didn’t stop running until she was out of that hell hole. Getting out of the building was easy peasy. Everything was in chaos. She easily evaded the dogs and the guards outside, and had gotten through one fence when Batman swooped in on her.

Her heart sunk. Did he change his mind?

“You didn’t kill that guard.” He said matter-of-fact.

Harley shrugged. “I didn’t need ta.”

Batman chuckled. “You’re going to have to fight me. I’ll let you take my gun. I want you to shoot me, just not in the face.”

Harley started laughing. “You want me ta shoot ya? Alright Batsy, if that’s what you’re into.”

She charged toward Batman and wrapped her legs around his torso. He tried to pry her off, but she held tight. He punched her a few times in the gut and knocked the wind out of her. He could have done a lot worse.  She was glad he didn’t. Harley back flipped off of him and charged again. He reached to grab her, but came up short. Harley reached for one of his guns. She expected to have to fiddle with some sort of clip or something, but the gun slid easily out of the holster. Batman turned around and charged at Harley again. Without hesitating, she shot him three times in the chest.

Batman fell backward. Harley knew his suit was bullet proof, but it still stung like a bitch to get shot. She chucked the gun at his head while he was down, and made for the outside fence. She scaled it easily enough and took off sprinting as soon as her feet touched the ground. In hindsight, maybe she should have requested a pair of shoes.

She didn’t stop running until she couldn’t run any more. She doubled over in an alley behind a dumpster. She didn’t doubt that cops would be out looking for her. She hoped Waller had some of them under her thumb too.

Her feet were in rough shape, and she knew she probably had a nice bruise from where Bats had punched her. Her blonde hair fell around her in stringy locks. She looked a mess. She wasn’t sure she should show up to Mistah J looking like she did. If she wasted time getting dressed up, he might not believe her escape story. She huffed, either way she was still changing.  She briefly wondered what tricks J had up his sleeve. If Waller got her involved, she was sure it was something that would level the city.

Harley stayed hidden until she caught her breath. There was a safe house close to a fifteen minute walk away from where she was. She hoped Mistah J still had a couple of his goons holed up in each safe house. It would make getting ahold of her ex-lover all the more easier. She started her walk and reached the safe house without any altercations. It was an old warehouse that Mistah J had converted into some pretty upscale digs. It wasn’t one of their main hideaways, so it wasn’t as nice as the rest. Still, it would do. Harley climbed the rickety fire escape and smashed one of the smaller windows. She had to play her cards like a pro. If the Joker truly didn’t want anything to do with her, she wasn’t sure if his henchmen would shoot her or not.

She slinked around the warehouse until she came to a familiar room. She opened the door slowly and was relieved to see no one inside. It was a small suite with an attached bathroom. She locked the door behind her, knowing that wouldn’t keep anyone out that really wanted to get in. Harley stared at the bed longingly. It’s been a long time since she’s slept on an actual bed. She kept her focus however, and started rifling through the dressers. She didn’t find any of her clothes, but she did find some very loose fitting plain t-shirts and fashioned one into a sort of dress.

Somewhere in the warehouse she thought she heard yelling. She strained her ears, but couldn’t tell for sure what the noise was. Figures, she finally got somewhere comfortable and she’d probably be bothered in a matter of minutes. If Mistah J’s guys were really doing their jobs, they would be patrolling the area regularly and would have seen the broken window minutes ago.

She moved on to the bathroom and started working on cleaning the dirt and grime off her face. She didn’t want to be too clean, so she did a rush job. Finally, she hurriedly combed her hair and put it up in two sloppy pig tails. She looked at her feet. They were disgusting and full of cuts and scrapes. There was a deep cut on her heel, but it was so full of dirt it was no longer bleeding. She knew she needed to address it, but she heard a loud ‘bang’ on the bedroom door followed by a “Who’s in there?”

Harley sighed. She left the bathroom and checked under the mattress and was hoping there would be a gun taped to the bottom. No such luck. Two goons came rushing in and Harley could tell they were more than surprised to see her. They immediately lowered their guns.

“Heya boys! It’s me, Harley Q. How ya been?”

One of the goons took out a cell phone and quickly typed a message into the keys.

“Ya know, it’s rude not to answer when someone is talking to ya! I tell ya, it’s so hard to find good help these days.”

The henchmen eyed her warily. Harley heard the phone buzz in the goon’s hand. He answered the call with a quick “Hello.”

“Yeah, it’s her alright.” There was a pause. “We’re sure.” Another pause. “Yeah, sure.”

“Ms., uh, Harley,” one of the goons started. “We have orders to bring you downstairs.”

Harley shrugged. “Well I guess that’s acceptable. Orders are orders. Let’s go downstairs!”

She had to admit she was nervous. She would be seeing Mistah J for the first time after an entire year. Sure, they both had been locked up for a long while before but never without communication to one another. Harley understood Belle Reeve. No one even knew about that hell hole.  The place she just hopped out of, however, was well known. She was sure all the papers in Gotham reported her being there too. There was no way Mistah J didn’t know she was there. The more she thought about it, the more she got pissed. That asshole had the audacity to leave her trapped in a prison for over a year! No messages, no contact, nothing! It was an easy hole to dig her out of too. Hell, it was right in Gotham!

She followed the henchmen quietly, neither aware of the internal conflict waging in the small woman. Maybe she would just kill the Joker now and save everyone a lot of trouble. Her stomach dropped. She couldn’t do that, even if she wanted to. Deep down she still loved the bastard. The henchmen took her down to the main floor of the ware house. There was a small lounge area in the middle of the wide-opened space. Harley was directed to take a seat on the purple suede covered couch.

She did so, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes. “What’s the deal? Is my Puddin’ comin’ to get me or not?”

The goons didn’t say a word. Harley could tell they were scared of her. They honestly probably didn’t know what to say to her. Harley sat and hummed quietly to herself for a few minutes. She heard the click-clacking of expensive shoes on the warehouse floor. She turned around quickly, expecting to see Mistah J. Instead, Johnny Frost was walking toward her. At first he didn’t say anything. Harley was surprised to see him walking so soon after the helicopter crash. He looked even more surprised to see her.

“We heard on the news you got out, but Mistah J didn’t believe it.” Johnny said quietly. “It really is you, ain’t it?”

Harley smiled and flipped her pig tails. “The one and only Johnny Boy! Now where’s my Puddin’?”

Johnny chuckled and reached for his phone. He walked away from Harley during the conversation, so she had no idea who he was talking to. She guessed he was talking to the Joker. Who else would he call?

Frost walked back over to her a few minutes later. “You sure look like the real Harley Quinn, but if you’re another imposter, we’re all getting’ shot.”

Harley shook her head. “You mean to tell me that people have been imposterin’ me?”

Frost nodded. “Yeah, and there’s been one or two really convincing Harleys too.”

Harley stuck out her tongue. “You mean Mistah J fell for an imposter?”

Frost chuckled. “No, he can always tell.”

Harley’s heart leapt at that and she couldn’t help but to smile. Why would people be pretending to be her though? Maybe it was another one of Waller’s schemes? Why let the real dangerous one out if they can get a safe fake? Frost looked her over and eyed her feet.

“Those look bad; did you run here all the way from the looney bin?”

Harley nodded. “What else was I supposed ta do? It ain’t like you goons were breaking me out anytime soon.”

Frost was quiet, but he motioned toward one of the guys and whispered something lowly. Minutes later the goon came back with a first aid kit and a couple bottles of water. Frost handed one of the bottles to Harley and she gulped it down. He used the other to clean the dirt and grime off her feet. When he was satisfied with the cleanliness, he rubbed ointment on both feed and wrapped them in paper-white gauze.

“That’s the best I can do for now. We’ll get ya better cleaned up after the boss takes a look at ya.”

Harley nodded, but she didn’t thank him. Frost looked impassive as ever while they waited. Moments passed like ages until Harley heard several more pairs of shoes clacking on the floor of the warehouse. She turned around and this time the Joker was standing there in the flesh. He smiled and his metallic teeth shone under the dim warehouse lights.

“Puddin’!” Harley squealed. She got up from the couch, but Frost quickly pulled her back down.

“Watch it mistah!” Harley yelped.

The Joker walked closer to the couch until he was mere feet away from Harley. He eyed her much like a lion would eye up a gazelle right before the hunt. Harley wanted to reach out and touch him, to make sure this was real and not another dream.

“Harley, Harley, Harley.” The Joker purred. “Are you my Harlequin?” He asked innocently.

He grabbed her by her hair and pulled her face up to his. Harley didn’t so much as whimper. “You sure look like her.”

He sniffed her hair and ran his tongue along her cheek. “You sure smell and taste like her too!” He giggled.

He took another deep breath and purred. “Oh, if you’re a fake you’re a damn good one!” He smiled and drew out a switchblade. Harley noted that blade was one she had gifted him. It was a very pretty purple and it was embossed in pearls.

“The real question issssssssssss,” He paused, pushing the blade against the side of her face, “do ya bleed like my Harley?”

Harley grunted as the steel sliced into her cheek. She looked up at him with defiant eyes. She wanted to call him a prick, and an asshole, and a bastard, but she held it all in.

He drew the knife away from her face, but before he could move in for another cut Harley grabbed his hand and licked her blood off the blade. 

The Joker looked at her then. He really looked at her. His face was still for a moment before his mouth twisted into the widest grin. He started cackling and ran his hand through his lime green hair.

“Oh my, my, my! Daddy’s missed you Babygirl!”

Harley smiled and started laughing. Joker dropped the blade on the ground and Harley sprang up and enveloped him into a hug.

“I’ve missed my Puddin’!”

Harley started crying as his arms wrapped around her. This was real. He was real. And he said he had missed her! The Joker licked her tears and planted a big, sloppy kiss on her lips.

“Oh baby, please, stop crying!” He yelled. “You know daddy doesn’t like it when his baby cries.” He continued, much softer this time.

Harley wiped her face with her hands. “Sorry Mistah J.” Harley wanted to be mad. She wanted to kick his ass. She wanted so badly to hate him, but she couldn’t. “I thought ya didn’t want me no more.”

The Joker clicked his tongue. “Of course I wanted ya baby! I just didn’t know which you was the real you! I’ve been going crazy out here without my Harlequin!”

Harley’s stomach fluttered and she planted several kisses along his neck. “Do ya really mean that Puddin’?”

The Joker nodded. “You know it baby.”

Harley wondered briefly if she should tell him about Batsy’s plan. She quickly thought better of it. Her lover was insane. He might just kill her on the spot. Besides, Harley wanted to get better. She was tired of being crazy. She doubted the Joker would understand if she requested therapy. She would stick to the plan because it was the best thing for her.

The Joker let her go and ordered Frost to go pick up something. Harley didn’t hear what. She hoped it was food. Or proper clothes. Or both.

“Harley honey, are you ready to go home?”

She nodded and smiled. “Yes Puddin’!”

The Joker laughed and pulled Harley into a bone crunching hug. “I’m never gonna let you go again.” He growled and nipped her ear.

Harley shivered. Part of her liked the sound of that, but the bigger part was screaming for her to get out. She would end up dead if she kept this up and she wasn’t dying for the Joker. Frost came back a little later with a pair of sneakers and a jacket. The Joker slid the jacket on Harley and she put the shoes on herself. She winced at the pain.

“You’re lucky that cut didn’t need no stiches.” Frost said matter-of-factly. “You keep it clean or it will get infected.”

Harley huffed. Johnny Frost was the only person that got away with talking so bluntly to Harley and the Joker. Sometimes Harley hated him, but mostly she was thankful for him.

Once the Joker was satisfied with Harley’s state of dress, they left the warehouse and got into a large black SUV. Harley and the Joker climbed in the back, while Frost climbed into the driver’s seat.  It wasn’t quite Mistah J’s style, but Harley supposed they needed to keep a low profile for a while. On the way back to the Joker’s main residence, they stopped by a McDonald’s drive-thru. Harley probably ordered one of everything on the menu. She ate bits and pieces of this and that until she was overly full. It had been a long time since she’s had anything other than prison slop.

She was surprised that Frost actually paid for all the food. Then again, it wouldn’t do any good to have the cops called on them. The rest of the ride was quiet. Harley nearly drifted off half a dozen times. The only thing keeping her awake was the constant nips and kisses from the Joker. If he had it his way, he probably would have fucked her a dozen times in the course of the ride home. Harley couldn’t say she was in the mood. Maybe in a few days her libido would be up and running, but it wasn’t happening tonight. She had been through hell and she was exhausted.

When they got “home”, the Joker had to half carry Harley inside. She could tell that he was getting annoyed. He should have let her sleep in the damn car. When they got to what Harley guessed was her bedroom, he shoved her toward the bed. He helped her get her jacket off and ‘tsked’ at the state of her feet. The bed felt like a dream, and it didn’t take her long to pass out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Light fluttered through the small window in the room. Harley blinked awake and growled at the intrusive light. Since when did her cell have a friggin’ window? Harley shot up in the bed she was in. The plush comforter hugged loosely on her body. She was really out of prison? She looked around the room until her eyes landed on the body next to hers. Her Puddin’ was wrapped in the same comforter and was lightly snoring. His arm was draped lightly over her waist. She had to resist the urge to squeal. This was real! Harley sunk back down in the bed and pulled her Puddin’ closer to her. 

He growled at the movement, but didn’t wake up. Harley could see him better in the harsh morning light. He looked like hell. There were new scars on his face and deep purple marks under his eyes. Harley could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well. She placed a light kiss on his forehead and stroked his hair. She wasn’t sure how long they lay that way. Minutes? Hours? It didn’t really matter to her. Her mind wandered to her deal she made with Batsy and the Devil. The Joker was going to kill her. She might as well enjoy this now. 

The more she thought about the deal, the more her stomach sank. She was conflicted. Eventually she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind. She was going through with this. She had to. It was the best thing for her. She tried thinking of other things. She wondered where her babies were. She shuddered at the thought of them being stuck in cages in some dank warehouse. She made a mental note to ask Frost next time she saw him. She was sure she’d see him soon. 

She was brought out of her thoughts by the urge to pee. She lifted the Joker’s arm off her carefully and shimmied out of the bed. A hiss escaped her lips as soon as she put weight on her feet. She forgot they were pretty buggered up. The walk to the bathroom was an awkward and painful one, but she made it. There was no door. The Joker took the door off after Harley had locked herself in there one day. Harley remembered the day vividly. She couldn’t remember why, but she had set him off. He beat her pretty badly. When he came back to the room to ask for forgiveness, Harley was holed up in the bathroom. She refused to come out for days, and he eventually hacked down the door. He refused to put another one up. 

Harley shivered at the memory. She knew he loved her, but maybe that wasn’t right after all. He didn’t love her. He possessed her. He craved her. His desire for her greatly outweighed his common sense. She was a major thorn in his side. She might have been his queen, but she knew she was more of a hindrance than a help most of the time. The only reason she was still around was because she was the only person whose crazy matched his. 

Harley eyed claw foot bathtub with envy. It had been so long since she’s been properly clean, let alone able to take a bath. She started the bath and then made her way to the toilet. After she was done, she raided the closet for various soaps and bath products. Most of the stuff in the closet was stuff she collected years ago. She was surprised to see it was still there. She grabbed a plush towel and threw it toward the bath. It landed on the floor near the tub with a soft ‘thunk’. She dumped close to a whole bottle of bubble bath into the hot water. Once she was content with the set-up, she tore off the wraps on her feet and her t-shirt and sunk into the water. 

She let out a content sigh. She never thought she would be so content bathing. She relaxed in the water until it starting getting too cool for her liking. She emptied half the tub, and worked on filling it up again. She decided against the bubbles this time. Instead she worked on getting her hair clean and her legs shaved. She wasn’t doing it for the Joker. She was doing it so she could finally feel good after years of living behind grimy prison walls. At least that’s what she told herself.   
She was rinsing out the conditioner in her hair for the third time when she heard the Joker start screaming. She practically jumped out of the tub and grabbed the towel off the floor. She wrapped it around her torso and ran into the bedroom. The Joker was wailing and punching the headboard of the bed.   
“Puddin’!” Harley yelled. She knew not to get to close if he was “out of it”. 

The Joker’s head perked at the sound of her voice. He turned to see her dripping water on the bedroom floor. He growled and leaped out of the bed toward her. He grabbed her by her wrists and pinned her against the wall. The movement caused Harley to let go of her towel. It slipped down until it hung low on her breasts. 

“Oh Harley,” he purred, “I thought it was a dream.”

Harley shook her head. “No way Puddin’, I’m right here.”

He let go of her wrists and buried his head in the crook of her neck. Harley wrapped her arms around his neck and cooed.   
“It’s okay Puddin’, really. Let’s get back to bed.” 

Harley lifted his head and gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “I was just getting all cleaned up.”

The Joker really looked at her for the first time since she ran from the bathroom. Her skin was still glistening with droplets of water, and her hair was dripping water steadily onto to the towel. He eyed her breasts and growled. In one swift move he divested her of the towel and pushed her toward the bed. 

Harley shivered. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the cool air on her wet skin, or if it was because how the Joker was acting. He looked at her like a man dying of thirst looked at water. Harley fell backwards onto the bed after another shove and he pounced on top of her. 

“Oh baby, daddy has missed you so much.” 

Harley inhaled sharply. Was he going to fuck her? Harley couldn’t say she didn’t want him to. It had been awfully lonely in the prison. Toward the beginning of her sentence, she often fantasized about her coming home, and having the Joker take her in various ways. She hadn’t thought about it in a while and was… unprepared.   
The Joker kissed and bit various spots on her body. Some of the kisses were sweet and soft, while others bruised right away. Harley could feel the Joker’s erection press against her each time he moved. 

“Tell me, did you miss daddy?”

Harley nodded. “Of course Puddin’.”

The Joker laughed. “Of course you did.” 

He grabbed Harley’s hand and cupped his dick through his pajama pants with it.   
“Did you miss this? Do you want it?”

Harley could feel herself starting to get wet. She went from 0 to 100 in seconds. 

“Yes, please.” She heard herself beg. 

The Joker let go of her hand. 

“Then you better show me.”

Harley ran her hand down his bare chest and rested it on the waistline of his pants. With her other hand she teased him through his pants. After a few moments she could tell he was getting restless, so she pulled his pants down until his cock sprang free. She spit in her hand and wrapped her fingers around the girth of his cock. She heard him hiss as she started pumping him. 

“That’s my girl.” 

Harley jerked him for a minute until he got tired of it. Normally he’d go from her hand to her throat. Instead, he bypassed her mouth altogether and positioned himself between her legs. She thought he’d go straight to fucking her, but instead he leaned down and bit the skin on her inner thigh. Harley let out a yelp. She heard him chuckle before she felt his tongue swipe across her cunt. She couldn’t remember the last time he went down on her. 

“Oh, Puddin’.” She moaned. 

His tongue swept across her clit before he bit down. Harley thought she might cum just from the sensation. She grabbed his head and pulled the hair on the back of his scalp. 

“Puddin’, that feels so good.”

The Joker stopped licking and stuck his pointer and middle fingers into her mouth. She sucked on them until he pulled them out. Without warning, he shoved them deep into her pussy. Harley screamed at the sudden intrusion. She was torn between the pain and the pleasure.

“Harley you are so damn tight.” He growled.

Harley moaned. She was going to cum. The Joker sneered. “You going to cum for daddy?”

Harley nodded. She wasn’t sure she could speak. Seconds more passed before she was cumming and screaming his name.

The Joker licked his fingers and made Harley lick them too. “Now it’s my turn.”

He positioned his cock at her entrance and guided himself in in one quick thrust. Harley gasped again. His cock was a lot bigger than even two of his fingers.   
“Oh, yeah.” The Joker moaned. “I’m never letting you out of my fucking sight again.”

The Joker’s thrusts were hard and fast and Harley found herself cumming again. Before he came, the Joker leaned down and gave her a teeth clattering kiss. He shoved his tongue into her mouth and then bit her bottom lip until it bled. He came with a loud moan. Harley could feel herself filling up with his cum. She briefly thought about the Plan B she had stashed in the bathroom closet and hoped it was still there. The Joker never used condoms and it’s not like they had birth control in the prison. Harley wasn’t sure if she could even get pregnant, but she didn’t want to take the chance. 

The Joker slumped over on top of her. Harley wasn’t sure how long they laid like that, but eventually he wordlessly got up and sauntered to the bathroom. Harley was sure she would be sore later. She knew she should probably attempt to find clothes… and food. She needed food. 

The Joker reemerged from the bathroom minutes later and Harley moved to get out of the bed. He put his hand up and motioned for her to stay where she was. She froze. Harley could tell he was conflicted. 

“Listen to me very carefully Harley.” He started. His tone held a voice of authority that you didn’t want to question. “You’re not to leave this room until I say you can.” He paused and looked her up and down. He looked like he already wanted to fuck her again. “I’m serious Harley. If you leave this room there will be… consequences. Do you understand.” 

Harley nodded. “Yes Puddin’.” She didn’t even want to think about what those consequences might be.

“Good girl. I won’t lose you again, even if that means I have to keep you in this room forever. ” The Joker paused. “I’ll have Frost bring you breakfast. Get decent. I’ll be back later; I have some business to take care of.”

Harley knew the Joker was exaggerating. He never kept her cooped up for long. She hoped Batsy wouldn’t get too antsy waiting on her to show up somewhere. There was no way she could leave the Joker’s side for the next couple weeks without blowing her cover. She thought about Ivy. Was she out or was she locked up somewhere? If she was out, that would be a good cover. The Clown Queen often went to visit her poisonous pal, especially when she and the Joker were on the outs.   
The Joker had slipped out of the room before Harley realized. She got out of bed and headed back to the bathroom. She made a mental note to tell Frost they would need new sheets. For now, she would be content getting back into the bath tub.


End file.
